My struggle with weight has been lifelong.  As a kid, my older brothers called me “Sid” – a name that stuck into my twenties.  It’s a nickname with an etymology.  At first they called me “Fatty,” which morphed into “Fatty Acids,” then “Acids,” then just “Sid.”

A favorite story about my weight peak in the mid-90s: church members Joe & Sharon Rowe were at a Charlotte Hornets basketball game with Joe & Duree Joseph when Sharon pointed out a guy in a sweater about 20 rows below them.  “That looks like a fat Bob Thompson!” she exclaimed. 

A little later I happened to turn around in my seat and she gasped, “It is Bob Thompson!”  My early years at Corinth had added 5-10 pounds a year, and a pulpit robe apparently covers a multitude of twinkies.

Corinth’s “cardboard testimonies” on Easter Sunday 2009 included so many wonderful stories of grace far more significant than mine.  To see God bring his children from disillusionment to joy, from addiction to freedom, from despair to hope, from loneliness to Christ-honoring relationships – these transformations are such an encouragement.

Those who battle with weight, however, know that going from 255 lbs a decade ago to under 200 today is something for which to give thanks.  My Easter sermon was deliberately NOT about losing weight – but the “means of grace” (“strategies” in the sermon manuscript) parallel areas that have made a difference for me across ten years of improving my physical condition.

Reflection.  Like most self-destructive addictions, overeating is accompanied with a thousand different excuses, rationalizations, and accusations.  Somewhere along the way I had to figure out I couldn’t blame my genes, my “clean-your-plate” parents, boarding school competition for food, or anyone else who puts more food in front of me than I needed.  The responsibility is mine alone.

The definition of insanity is repeating the same behavior expecting a different result.  So it is with diets designed for quick weight loss.  I have to stop and think about what hasn’t worked before I can be honest about what will.

Ultimately, my reflection has to return to a matter of will.  Do I want/need this change badly enough to do things differently?  The problem, of course, is that this “will factor” so easily dissipates when temptation strikes.  One relatively new discipline for me that has helped is a weekly fast on Monday morning.  Included in that discipline is an extended time of prayer, but even if I can’t take the prayer time – it’s a reminder that the craving for food cannot be in control of my life.

Accountability.  My greatest successes in this journey have come when I set a goal and then reported to someone.  It could be my doctor (getting out of “obese” category on the BMI scale), my family (a chart on the refrigerator), or a class where I had to report every week on my progress.  I remember one time I wanted to lose 5 pounds and told my friend David Washco I would text him every day until I reached that goal.  Every eating choice now brought to mind that I would have to report my weight to David.  I met my goal in a week!

Whether or not I am reporting to others, I also have kept a weight chart on my personal computer since 2002.  Whether I’m up or down, every single Tuesday morning I weigh in and record the weight on my graph.  I can see not only the progress or digress from the week before, but from the year before on the same week.

Persistence.  Needless to say, the journey of losing a total of almost 60 pounds across ten years has had its ups and downs, its successes and failures.  I lost 40 pounds in 2000 through a class, and thought five years later I was still within 10-15 pounds of that low point.  Then we bought a new scale, and my weight chart went up 13 pounds in one day!  It was time for a new effort.  What was critical was not to give up, and not to beat myself up with guilt when I wasn’t doing as well.  I usually do horribly on “special occasions” (holidays, vacations), but I refuse to let the aberration return me to the old normal.

It really does come down to eating less and exercising more.  I don’t enjoy exercise very much, so I need to vary what I do – and, again, keep myself accountable.  Through the years, exercise has meant everything from a YMCA membership to walking with Linda to running/jogging to home exercise equipment to Billy Blanks’ Tae Bo to my recent experience with P90X with a group of men.

As for eating, the best strategy I came up was rather simple.  I know what a healthy minimum is for me when I’m trying to lose weight – a couple of small bowls of cereal and a glass of juice for breakfast, a banana for a snack, a healthy sandwich or salad for lunch, and a dinner with a modest portion each of meat, starch, and vegetable.  When I lost 40 pounds from August 2007 to May 2008, I kept a chart on the refrigerator of the number of times each day I ate something “extra” – a snack, a dessert, a roll, a pat of butter, some chips, whatever.  I wasn’t trying to get to zero “extras” every day – but if the number exceeded 2-3 a day, I wouldn’t lose weight.

Grace.  It’s dangerous to write a column on how I lost weight when I’m at a low point.  And I wouldn’t do it except that it’s been a year now since I first dropped below 200, and now it’s my goal to stay there permanently.  (It’s part of my accountability to put that in print – feel free to ask how it’s going!)  I don’t really have a desire to lose more – just stay at this level and be healthy.

But grace recognizes that it’s never a solo journey. I look for the help and encouragement of my family and friends, though I must never blame them if I feel unsupported at any given time. 

I also need God’s help.  I want to be careful how I express this part, because I don’t want to make it sound like people who are in shape are de facto more “spiritual” than those who are overweight.  There are so many factors that go into weight gain or loss.  And there are also different areas in which the Holy Spirit is working on each of us at any given time. 

But it is fair to make the comparison between a temptation to overeat and other kinds of temptation.  First, every temptation to do the wrong thing is also a chance to make the right choice.  Second, although sometimes temptations crop up unexpectedly, often we know when we are going to be most vulnerable (read: “buffet line”) and can prepare ourselves mentally and spiritually.  Third, there’s always help available.  I really do believe that God provides a “way of escape” (1 Corinthians 10:13) and that he will answer when I ask for his help at a moment of temptation.  Finally, when I do blow it, I need to remember that wallowing in guilt won’t help me make progress.  All the consequences of my sinful self-indulgence have been paid for by Jesus Christ, and there’s no limit to how many times I can come back and claim 1 John 1:9.  Name the failure and move on.

Grace also extends to others.  Knowing my own weaknesses makes me far more compassionate to those who struggle with overeating or any other compulsion.   At times it is SO hard – especially with food.  It’s not like smoking, for example, in that the line is so blurry.  You can’t give up eating altogether!  (I am fully aware that smoking includes a different and powerful addictive factor.)  Temptations to overeat are ubiquitous.  But even for those with other areas of addiction or temptation, I just know from experience how hard it is to be consistent.  The battle is never over in the areas of our greatest vulnerability.

So we celebrate progress while we humbly remember any success is fragile.  We also steadfastly refuse to judge or condescend toward those who aren’t at the same place.  It’s all about grace received and extended to others.

Feel free to log in to the blog and share your responses as well as your own successes and failures. We can learn from each other.