Never forget that you have been loved by God far more than you can love each other.
1 Corinthians 13:1-8a, 13
October 10, 2009
Daniel and Andi, I want to begin by thanking you for the privilege of sharing this day with you. I have enjoyed getting to know you both, and I hope we will have many reasons to cross paths in the future.
I always try to write a wedding charge that is personal – connecting the Scripture you chose with some aspect of your life. Sometimes it’s hard to find one of those connections. But your stories gave me so many possibilities it was hard to narrow them down!
And 1 Corinthians 13 always offers more than enough ways to talk about relationships and marriage. So let me see if I can make a few connections.
You met each other playing tennis for Hickory High School, and tennis has always been a part of your life. It’s hard to resist the connection between the “love chapter” of the Bible, the love that grew between the two of you on the tennis court, and the fact that love is the most common score in tennis.
Tennis is the weirdest scorekeeping system in all of sports, including the fact that “love” is the way you say you have zero points. There are a number of theories as to why, but the one I like the best is that the 17th century phrase, “to play for love,” meant to play for nothing – as in not playing for money.
So that’s a good marriage lesson. 1 Corinthians 13 says love is “not self-seeking.” To marry for love means the same thing as “for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health.” I’m marrying you for nothing – nothing I can get from you, nothing I expect you to return to me, nothing but love.
Then I thought about Daniel’s Eagle Scout. It’s a title that stays with you your whole life. The saying is, “Once an Eagle, always an Eagle.” Your identity as an Eagle Scout changes the rest of your life.
And so does marriage. “Love never fails” is how the Apostle Paul describes love in action. That’s because love is not a feeling that depends on circumstances. It’s a commitment, like being an Eagle Scout. You never quit trying to live up to the identity.
Then I thought of your love for animals, Andi, a zeal that took you to Auburn’s Vet School and pointed you to a career. That’s a strong passion.
Nothing against Daniel personally, but marrying a guy in general, or so I’m told, is sometimes kind of like living with an animal. That is to say that you don’t always know or understand what’s going on that brain because we guys think differently than you do. You’ll need to remember Paul’s words, “Love is patient, love is kind.” That’s how you are with the animals you treat, and sometimes you’ll just have to apply the same approach to Daniel.
Daniel, you went to N. C. State for your civil engineering degree. There’s just something about N. C. State alumni and sports fans that calls to mind 1 Corinthians 13:5, “Love keeps no record of wrongs.”
A Wolfpack football or basketball fan has no choice but to let go of the past record and hope for a better future, right? Apply that same principle to your marriage, Daniel. Forget the past, especially any failures and losses. Move forward with hope.
Finally, I was intrigued as I read through my notes on your story about how many different Christian denominations you’ve been influenced by in your journey. Daniel was raised in the Episcopal church. Andi was raised in the Methodist church, but her parents are now Lutherans. And you’re getting married in the Reformed church because of strong family connections here.
For all of the differences in those various groups, they do have some important commonalities. We all believe in a God who made the world, and made us to live in relationship with him forever. And we all believe that eternal relationship is made possible because God entered the world in the person of his Son, Jesus Christ. It is by his life, death, and resurrection that we can live.
Daniel and Andi, in your love for each other, never forget that you have already been loved by God more than you can possibly love each other. That’s not Methodist or Episcopal or Lutheran or Reformed. It’s just the Christian way of thinking.
In Christ you have already been forgiven more than you will ever need to forgive each other. You have already been given blessings far greater than anything you can give to each other. You were chosen by God to be his long before you chose each other for a life partner.
So just remember. If you have been loved like that, the best way to say thanks to God is to overflow that love to each other every day for the rest of your life. “Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
Faith, hope, and love will always remain, and they’re all important to marriage. But the greatest gift you can give each other is the gift of love. Amen.