If you knew Harriet Bean, it will not surprise you to know she had some specific wishes for this service today.  She knew which pastors she wanted to lead the service.  She chose the music she wanted us to sing.  She wanted the order of worship and liturgy to reflect both the Episcopal Church in which she was reared and the United Church of Christ, of which she was a part during the last chapters of her life. 

And she did not want a eulogy.  She’s been to enough funerals that I have preached to know that my usual style is to weave personal remarks about the individual with Scripture.  But that’s not what she wanted.  In other words, she really didn’t want this service to be about her.  She wanted it to be a dignified and liturgical service of Scripture reading, prayers, and music.  She wanted the focus to be on God, on Scripture, and on the hope of eternal life.

The last few hours of her life she said repeatedly, “I just want to go be with Jesus.”  Harriet would want us to remember and proclaim today that our only hope of life eternal is by faith in Jesus Christ, who died and rose again.  It’s more important that you direct your thoughts toward him than toward Harriet Hafer Bean.

She did, however, tell me that I could read Proverbs 31 and give a brief meditation about “the virtuous woman” described there.  I will honor her wishes.  My hope is that this meditation will give the opportunity to remember and give thanks to God for your own reflections on Harriet as a person.  Perhaps you will be able to use the time of receiving following this service to share those reflections with others.

The reading she requested from the last 22 verses of Proverbs is actually an acrostic poem, meaning that each successive verse begins with the next letter of the Hebrew alphabet.  It is a carefully crafted literary masterpiece that describes the ideal toward which Harriet aspired.  I am sure that as we read it and say a few words about it, those who knew Harriet best will see her reflection in these words.

A wife of noble character who can find?
       She is worth far more than rubies.

Her husband has full confidence in her
       and lacks nothing of value.

She brings him good, not harm,
       all the days of her life.

She selects wool and flax
       and works with eager hands.

She is like the merchant ships,
       bringing her food from afar.

She gets up while it is still dark;
       she provides food for her family
       and portions for her servant girls.

She considers a field and buys it;
       out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.

She sets about her work vigorously;
       her arms are strong for her tasks.

She sees that her trading is profitable,
       and her lamp does not go out at night.

In her hand she holds the distaff
       and grasps the spindle with her fingers.

She opens her arms to the poor
       and extends her hands to the needy.

When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
       for all of them are clothed in scarlet.

She makes coverings for her bed;
       she is clothed in fine linen and purple.

Her husband is respected at the city gate,
       where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.

She makes linen garments and sells them,
       and supplies the merchants with sashes.

She is clothed with strength and dignity;
       she can laugh at the days to come.

She speaks with wisdom,
       and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

She watches over the affairs of her household
       and does not eat the bread of idleness.

Her children arise and call her blessed;
       her husband also, and he praises her:

“Many women do noble things,
       but you surpass them all.”

 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
       but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

 Give her the reward she has earned,
       and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Through the ages, many women have found this text to be intimidating rather than encouraging.  This is quite a woman!  She’s a wife, a mother, a homemaker, and a business woman.  She is a morning person and a night person.  She is confident and wise.  She is strong and godly.  She is equally yoked to a husband who is a prominent leader in the community.  She is both frugal and generous, proactive with tasks and attentive to relationships.

What woman can live up to that ideal?  But that’s not the point.  A careful reading of this text reveals that this woman is not being held up as an ideal for every woman to mimic.  Her circumstances are beyond the reach of most.  For one thing, she is a person of significant means.  Not every woman has her resources.  More importantly don’t miss the fact that this woman has servants to help her.  A lot of women probably feel they could accomplish a little more in life if they had eight or ten extra hands at beckon call.

No, I don’t think this passage is women trying to be supermom or supermodel or super anything.  It’s rather about the title for the text that appears in the King James Version of the Bible – the title Harriet used when she asked me to read the passage.  It’s about “the virtuous woman.”

The word “virtuous” has to do with character, and Webster’s dictionary associates it more with a woman than a man.  That etymology is rooted in a double standard for chastity between men and women.

“Virtuous” is a good translation for the Hebrew word used here, but maybe not the best.  More recent translations use “noble woman” or “good woman” or “excellent woman.”  The Hebrew word is used of strength, integrity, and moral fitness.

I think what Harriet was trying to tell us, and me in particular as I prepared for this meditation, was this: “Don’t make it about my virtue.  What matters when I’m gone is not whether or why I lived up to these ideals.  But these were the ideals I strived for – to be noble, to be strong, to be virtuous.

The woman described in this passage was a woman of passion in her beliefs and values.  She was a one-man woman whose attention centered first on God, then on her husband and children, but never without considering the world outside her walls.  Her life was not lived out for self-fulfillment.  She believed she should teach, care, protect, welcome, and nurture.

Harriet Bean’s life goal was to strive toward that ideal, by God’s grace, and then to be ready to meet Jesus clothed in his righteousness.  May this be true of us as well.  Amen.