(This is a letter to the editor I have submitted to the local paper.)
Editor, Hickory Daily Record
I attended the Visiting Writers’ Series event with Mitchell Gold Thursday, January 28, at Lenoir Rhyne University and came away saddened.
What disappointed me was that we have not come further in our ability to discuss controversial issues, even in a university setting. The event was designed to promote Gold’s personal experience and perspective on homosexuality, so that aspect was not unexpected.
From both the platform and the audience, however, the arguments demonstrated more disrespect than substance as they addressed those who hold a sincere but contrasting perspective. Members of the audience who did not step to a microphone reinforced the contempt with loud applause for the most condescending quips and stereotypes directed toward those with whom they disagree.
We can do better. The debate over homosexual preference and practice is likely to be with us for some time. On both sides of this issue, we have yet to learn that if our intention is to influence or persuade, we rarely accomplish either with swift verbal jabs, Bible abuse, and holier-than-thou rhetoric.
I will confess that I have been a participant in such unhealthy discourse in the past, but I am trying to learn. My own deeply held conviction holds to the historic sexual ethic of the church, based on my understanding of Scripture. Last weekend I participated in a retreat where I was asked to present my views to a group of gays, lesbians, transgendered persons, and their advocates. They expressed appreciation for my effort to do so with respect and humility. See “Sacred Conversations” on my blog, www.corinthpastorbob.com.
If there are those in our community who would like to participate in a conversation about homosexuality at a level of seeking to understand as well as to be understood, let me know.
Bob Thompson, Pastor
Corinth Reformed Church, Hickory, NC
Bob-
It seems that the rhetoric has racheted up a notch with yesterday’s Op Ed piece by Mitchell Gold. I have it on good authority from folks who were there with you that your understanding of the meeting was correct and Mitchell’s not so correct. I respect your civility and the kindness with which you present your views.
Bruce
I am quite sure that everyone present, Mitchell and myself included, “heard” the voices through the filter of their own experiences and opinions. The important thing to me with Mitchell is that we will have the opportunity to talk face to face.
Pastor Thompson,
I was at the event as well, and I respected the opinions of all, even if I disagreed with some. You speak eloquently which, I believe, effectively hides the hate you are actually teaching.
What astounds me is that even after the conversation and your attempt to listen to all present, you still write a letter to the editor of the Hickory Daily Record that specifically calls homosexuality a preference. It’s not a preference. God created me this way. I didn’t choose to be homosexual.
But it’s a debate that can’t be won when people close their minds and hearts.
I hope that you will someday understand the truth. Best wishes.
I do want to thank you for writing. It saddens me that what I say sounds or feels like hate to you. I assure you, that is not my attention. And as for the word “preference,” I guess I am still learning - and want to learn - what words cloud the conversation. (One of the dictionary definitions of “preference” is “orientation.” I don’t know if that word or “attraction” is better. As I said, I’m learning and willing to learn.) It’s interesting that both you and the writer in today’s newspaper assume that I believe people choose to be homosexual. That is not the case. I don’t know what if anything we can solve, but I would like to understand better where you come from and would like you to understand better where I come from.
Pastor Thompson,
This certainly clouds the conversation, “The debate over homosexual preference and practice is likely to be with us for some time.”
It could been less condemning and hateful had it simply said “The debate over homosexuality is likely to be with us for some time.”
And, just as a point of reference, why does this “issue” affect you and your life? How do you relate to it? Have you been personally affected by homosexuality? Any time I’ve ever been driving down the road and saw the bumper sticker “Marriage = 1 man + 1 woman”, I’ve always wanted to stop the car and ask the person why they care. How can someone be so vehemently against something they can’t possibly understand? Unless they DO understand.
A dear friend of mine once said “The hater hates the hatee not because of the hatee but because of what the hater hates about himself.”
I do wish you luck and hope that you and Mr. Gold can have a very fruitful/meaningful lunch.